One true thing about me is that I like to be busy. Not being rushed or stressed, but having purpose and structure. Having a plan, things to work on, and places to be is what I enjoy. I like to complete tasks and accomplish many things. I keep my mind engaged and avoid boredom that I get from free time. When I’m busy, I am more productive and use my time well. When I’m not, I waste time and am lazy.
Instead of being relaxed and decompressing, I feel guilty about wasting time. Wasted time made me angry at myself, so I kept my schedule full. Even if it was something I didn’t really want to do, I would do it to fill time. I knew that if the time went unfilled, I would be worse off. Too much wasted time the day before might make me feel unmotivated the next day. Obviously, I like having some time to myself, but too much is the problem. Watching some TV before bed or scrolling a little on my phone is nice, but having an evening with nothing to do is too boring. I get satisfaction from completing many things throughout the day because I did something meaningful with my time.
Having responsibilities and commitments also allows me to structure my day more easily. I know what I need to plan around and plan for, and it makes me more efficient. Sometimes, if I don’t have anything else to do, I drag my feet and procrastinate. Knowing I have something else that will take my time forces me to be quick and effective while completing my other tasks, even giving me a little break here and there.
Having this mindset certainly has challenges. I am overwhelmed sometimes. Overscheduling can happen, and that’s hard to handle. If too many responsibilities overlap or something unexpected happens, it can leave me scrambling. Even so, I’d still rather deal with this and adapt my time management skills even further than not accomplish anything. Some days are hard, but at the end of it, I feel even better knowing all that I did. Working past the stress of high school can be hard, so that’s when it becomes especially important to prioritize doing things I genuinely enjoy. Staying busy doesn’t always mean doing something studious and academic. Hanging out with friends and doing sports take up just as much time, and I have fun with those things.
